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Story 99

© Illustration by Life in Lyme Light.

How has Lyme disease affected your life? What inspires you?

Everyone reaches the top at different times and I know I haven’t gotten there. Does it piss me off? Hell yes. Does it make me sad when I can’t take my daughter out because I’m too tired and need to sleep? F*CK YES! But it’s not in my control. I pray.

One lesson I learned, and never forget this; “WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR HEALTH, YOU HAVE WEALTH” I can’t emphasize that enough. It’s sad I envy healthy people.

To be honest, I’m not sure you ever totally accept it. Well maybe some do, but I can feel a tad of loss of my previous self knowing she will never come back. It’s not possible after all this trauma, but I do hold to hope and do trust the Lord had this plan for me, I know he’s taught me a ton!! About life, loving, saying no to something, cherishing the love and support I do have. So, if you believe in Jesus or God or both like I do, trust his will.

To be honest, you’re going to go through a grieving process. Just like with a loss of life. You grieve what was, what could have been, your loss of a healthy body, having to deal with all these medicines and doctors juggling so much at once, just you, you will miss YOU! I encourage you to embrace the process. Remember this is a grieving process, this is not a sprint to get to the end. Everyone reaches it.

It’s a long process for some, short for others. Your illness is going to be different than others’ illnesses and in length. The unknown is scary. But if someone told me this, or I read it from the beginning, it would have made much more sense to me while going through it and maybe I would have somehow embraced it better. Literally the 5 stages of grief will come and you may not even notice.

The anger phase was the worst for me. I was mad at everything, myself the most, the world, my pills, EVERYTHING! There was a fine line of when I accepted it and not.

ALWAYS if possible also have an advocate! ALWAYS take someone to your appointments. You won’t remember everything said. Find people like us for support!! They are the only ones who fully understand how you feel in every way. You’re going to be sad, that’s okay. ASK for help! I still can’t do this right by myself.

The other thing I can say is YOU take control over your healthcare! If you want something done, fine. If not these meds, say no! Just speak for yourself!

Lastly, learn to love yourself if you don’t. I still struggle with this. I trust Jesus! Now that I’ve written a book, TRUST your gut. If it doesn’t feel right to you, it’s not right.

God bless you all and I’m always here for anything, no $$ though XD

Oh LAUGH, it’s the best MED!! <3

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