How has Lyme disease affected your life? What inspires you?
Lyme came into my life during a time I needed clarity. For so long, I carried the burden of my past and what surrounded me. It came during a time of transition. In fact, the day I received my medical results … I laughed! I had no idea or knowledge of what Lyme disease was or the impact it would have on my life. I strongly believe the root cause of this disease was my trapped trauma. Once I discovered that the healing needed to take place from the inside out. I went all in.
I started with alternative medicine and owning up to my own self. I started doing the work and working with natural medicines, therapy and taking a holistic approach. I was so committed to purging this disease from my body that I was willing to try anything. I couldn’t make the connection with my mind, body, spirit. I was so disconnected from myself that I was beyond lost.
At times, I would get so frustrated with myself because in all areas of my life I was being misunderstood. At the time, I was a financial officer for a book publishing company, engaged, a single parent, going to school and dealing with everything around me including grieving the loss of a man I considered a father to me (my boss). Dealing with not having a mother and father while growing up to protect and guide me. I have been a survivor since day one, but couldn’t grasp why this disease had a hold over me. It took over my brain not allowing me to think clearly, it caused so much pain in my body I didn’t have a choice but to stay in bed, it made me feel and cry out the tears of frustration, it made me so angry that what once seemed like my life was together was falling apart. What I found most frustrating was being misunderstood.
Sometimes my speech was so off that I couldn’t understand myself. I was made fun of at work, by friends and even family. The pain I endured during this difficult time allowed me to have compassion for myself and others. The more pain I endured the more love I grew for myself. Since I’m so private about my life I wasn’t sharing much only in the right setting…. where I felt safe enough to be vulnerable. I started taking responsibility for my healing and growth.
During this time, I started giving myself credit for my strength to have been able overcome all types of abuse, rape, growing up without a father and mother who was still figuring it out and wasn’t able to care for me, abuse was the norm for me and also was the way I saw love. The relationships I carried weren’t the healthiest, so I found myself taking on other people’s problems and just not being true to me.
Then, something changed, I started saying goodbye to unhealthy relationships and opening the doors to endless possibilities. I planted the seed of Believe In Your Wings in 2015, because that was exactly what I needed growing up. Believe In Your Wings was born from my inner struggle with Lyme disease! I needed to believe in myself. I needed to know that I was that light at the end of the tunnel and that all the love I needed during the difficult times existed right inside of me.
Being raised by grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins from house to house allowed me to be resilient. I knew, I was a survivor from day one, I knew that the things happening weren’t to take me down but to build me up. I had so much faith that the Lyme would leave my body and that God would provide the necessary tools for me to overcome a minor setback. I learned that asking for help and sharing your story can help you and others. When you ask you will receive, you just have to be open to receive.
I shared my story at a meditation retreat and the universe responded with the help of alternative medicines. This was when I was able to purge the parasites from my body to start the healing process of shading unnecessary pain I was carrying all these years, which I believe was the root cause of the Lyme disease. Although I purged what I believe was the Lyme disease from my body and the test results for the last few years show no sign of Lyme. The Lyme caused life changing effects on my mind, body and Spirit. Of course just like anything in life, you learn and you grow and you figure it out. So, grateful to be able to be alive!!! Thank you 🙏🏽 for the process and the support I continue to receive!
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – ANAÏS NIN